Anxiety is one of the most common reasons for seeking therapy. My approach to anxiety is two-fold: (1) management and (2) addressing underlying issues.

This page is being rewritten (October 2022).

Tips for managing your anxiety
Therapy addresses the issues underlying your anxiety
Useful resources

Tips for managing your anxiety

I am asked often: can you recommend tools and tips to get rid of my anxiety? Mostly, people are looking for quick fixes. And there are plenty of those. There are more internet and written resources than anyone could read in a lifetime! Possibly you too want some of these too – and I will mention them below.

But, let’s do some wider thinking first. Here are my tips for managing your anxiety.

Tip #1 – Managing anxiety is part of your wider self-care

For everyone I see, anxiety is an issue related to problems with their mind, body or life – or all of these. You miss the point if you learn techniques to manage your anxiety without thinking about your self-care as a whole. It’s like making sure you have a shiny, new bucket to catch water dripping through your bedroom ceiling without fixing the holes in the roof.

If you are constantly stressed at work or in the family, you may need to give more attention and time to your own needs. (That is self-care.) Do you struggle to do that? Finding out why is also self-care. If you’re finding one or more relationships difficult, that may need addressing. (That is self-care.) If you have no confidence in social situations, you can certainly work on that. (That is self-care too.) If you also have addictive behaviours, you may need to understand better what is driving these and address the causes. And so on.

Self-care is just that! It’s what you do for yourself, even if you do it with and supported by other people. Even if you go through a successful spell of therapy, it doesn’t remove the need for self-care afterwards. Your own personal ways of managing your anxiety form part of that self-care.

If you want your anxiety to reduce and stay that way, neglecting your wider self-care is not an option.

Tip #2 – Start now!

As well as addressing the wider self-care issues I have mentioned above, it is good to find some ‘quick fixes’ that help you get through each day. These are self-care too. But where to start?

Where to start: body or mind?

The connection between mind and body is very real and powerful. So, many techniques for reducing anxiety start with the body. Altering your breathing has been known as helpful in calming the mind for thousands of years. Physical exercise and body-based practices such as pilates and hatha yoga can also help. Physical exercise includes things you can do at home. They also help with low mood and depression.

Of course, you can also work on the mind directly. Mindfulness and mediation are powerful in calming the mind. Start with some short, easy exercises. Changing your perspective on the world can also help to calm yourself in the moment. That could be an affirmation on Instagram or something your granny used to say. If it works, use it!

So, don’t wait until you see a counsellor! If you can, start looking now for what you need. Chose something easy, something small. And start experimenting. What do easiest and doable? What works best for you? If you aren’t sure where to start, find some breathing exercises.

Tried all that already?

You may be thinking, yes, but I have heard all this before. I have tried all of that! Okay, no problem, that may be true! That maybe why you’re coming to therapy. You need something more. But you may still need some of these quick fixes too, whether daily or just occasionally. You may need to work through them more thoroughly or find better ones. But don’t give up on them!

Do you find self-care difficult?

Please note: if you find self-care difficult or are demotivated for any reason at all, don’t hide it from your therapist. This is an important point to raise in your therapy!

Tip #3 – Learn more about yourself

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Therapy addresses the issues underlying your anxiety

How anxiety affects you

Many people seeking therapy do so because they are feeling anxious or noticing the outward effects of anxiety. (These are also called anxiety ‘symptoms’ in the medical world.)

These effects may be on your body, your mind and how you function in life. If you’re reading this page, you probably know what some of them are already. But if you want to think more about this, the MIND page on anxiety symptoms is an easy place to start.

The causes of anxiety

Life situations

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Thinking patterns

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Unconscious emotion and conflicts

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Cortisol levels

High cortisol levels are associated with anxiety. It is your choice as to whether you use therapy to reduce other underlying causes of high cortisol such as stress. Or seek prescribed drugs from your doctor. Or both. I will ask you whether you se these drugs or are considering it. I can help you explore your feelings about different options. But I don’t try to influence your choices.