Introduction

Most therapists offer a safe, non-judgmental space. But what happens in that space? When choosing a therapist, it’s okay to ask how they work, so that you can decide if they’re the right one for you. Below, I explain four features of how I work as a psychotherapist, followed by a note on which model of therapy I use.

Have a browse below. You don’t need to read every detail. Just pick out one or two bits that grab you the most. Or that you want to ask me about.

Table of contents

1. Working with deeper levels of the mind

What if you make progress in your life and feel better but your problems keep coming back? You may even have had some therapy already and still find yourself in distress. Or just stuck. When problems recur, that can be a sign that there is some hidden issue to resolve. Often, this is down to the parts of our minds that operate without our noticing.

I work with any and all problems. However, I do specialise in in-depth therapy. What does that mean?

It means finding and processing the thoughts and feelings that you have lost touch with. The ones that are shaping your life without you realising! And it means looking much more closely at how situations and relationships play out for you. And learning much more about the particular ways in which your own mind works.

I set out to help you with feelings, patterns of behaviour and relationships that are hidden from yourself. Because if you don’t spot the underlying issues, there is a chance your problems will keep repeating themselves.

Some of this will be relatively easy to see with more clarity, once in therapy. And then therapy can help you find ways of thinking or behaving that work better for you.

And some of it may require you to go deeper still. That is where psychodynamic therapy comes in. It works with the levels of our mind called the ‘unconscious’. These are usually very influential in how we see ourselves and relate to other people. Yet they are so deeply hidden that they are very difficult or impossible to discover without help. You can read more about this on my page about psychodynamic therapy.

2. Understanding how your past affects you now

There is plenty of evidence that our experiences growing up influence our beliefs and attitudes, but also shape us emotionally. By ‘experiences’ I mean how it was for you growing up in your family, in school and in society. They shape how we see ourselves and relate to other people. And this can last for the rest of our lives.

A safe and supportive upbringing produces a more secure and resilient adult. Difficult experiences sometimes do that too. But some childhood experiences teach us ways to cope or survive that worked back then, but aren’t good for us as adults.

You don’t need to have suffered an abusive childhood for this to happen. In fact, it’s rare that a childhood gives us an emotionally perfect environment. Is that even possible?

Talking about your past

Recalling or describing your past history or childhood experiences can sometimes feel daunting. It’s up to you whether you do this. And we never do this for the sake of it. But unwrapping some of your past often turns out to be one of the most healing aspects of therapy. You may be surprised how much this has to offer.

We only talk about your past because it could offer you a better future.

But you can go further still. In fact, sometimes you will have to go further to discover and change how your past has built in patterns at the unconscious level. This is particularly true if you have views of yourself or ways of relating that you just cannot shift. Find out more on my page about psychodynamic therapy.

3. Using the therapy relationship

Research has repeatedly shown us that the quality of the client’s relationship with the therapist is one of the most important factors in bringing positive change. If you have ever felt unsafe or have felt judged or belittled, there may be something genuinely healing about feeling the therapist’s caring attitude towards you.

But there is a lot more that can be gained from your relationship with your therapist.

Using what happens in the therapy room

Every moment we are in conversation with someone, we are continually creating a relationship based not just on the words, but on many other factors too. It happens moment by moment on a micro-level. This is true in therapy sessions too!

If your therapist has trained this way, they will be able to use these to highlight how you maybe relating to other people too. This is sometimes called relational working.

Some therapists place themselves largely outside of their relationship with you. They seek to understand you and thus help you make changes. But as a relational therapist, I open myself up to experiencing you more fully as a person. How I work is to let myself be affected and impacted by you.

In fact, the unconscious levels of mind that I mentioned above apply to you and me, just as for any other relationship. This turns out to be very useful indeed! You can read more on my page about psychodynamic therapy.

Changing yourself by using the therapy relationship

Gradually, as you become more confident, you may find yourself using the therapy relationship to make changes for yourself. It can be quite exciting to find that this works. And that you can do this outside of therapy too.

4. Dealing with trauma and dissociation

I have a special interest in working with adults who faced trauma in childhood. Trauma impacts on every aspect of what I have written above. It can have a huge impact on the deeper levels of the mind, including the unconscious parts. It can massively impact how we see ourselves and relate to other people. Once again that includes your therapist. And once again that proves to be very useful.

If you are suffering from acute PTSD symptoms, I may discuss with you trying another short term therapy such as EMDR.

Trauma can also result in dissociation. Dissociation comes in many forms, often quite subtle. At its worst, these include affecting your perception of who you are (your identity); feeling as if you or the world are not real; and exhibiting two or more separate personalities. But how much or little you experienced isn’t what’s important here. Or what you call it. If you are struggling to deal with the effects of your past, please talk to me about it.

Which therapy model?

This is the technical bit of how I work as a psychotherapist.

I trained first as a person-centred counsellor; then for five years using a contemporary psychodynamic model. These are the two of the most common models of therapy. And it is easy to combine the best of both approaches. My psychodynamic approach draws mostly on attachment theory and object relations.

At the same time, I completed separate training in trauma-related work. Since then, I have incorporated other ways of working, including cognitive-behavioural therapy and ways of helping you to reduce anxiety and dissociation.

If made to label myself, I would say I’m a relational, psychodynamic therapist with a special interest in working with dissociation and trauma.

Find out more about how I work

To find out more about how I work, you can contact me easily here.

© Copyright, Julian Mauger 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022

Photo by Cata.